Lots of LaMontagnes
by Littleoblivion
Summary: They didn't plan on having this many kids, but they can't imagine life any other way. Willifer family fic.
1. Chapter 1

_**Lots of LaMontagnes**_

_My name is JJ, and I have a lot of kids. A shit ton, if you will. No, I had a shit ton when I began this blog six years ago. Since then, my husband Will and I have gone from eight children to twelve._

_Yeah. You read that correctly._

_Twelve kids. **Twelve.**_

_Here's a quick tally of our dozen: Henry is 16. He's our rock, but he's also a junior in high school, so shit can be rough. Michael is 15. He's the class (family?) clown, always ready with a joke. Kaitlyn is 13. Now that she's in the eighth grade, we're entering the world of teen girl-dom. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Benjamin is 11. As long as he has a soccer ball to kick around, he's happy. We have nine year old twin girls! Eva is probably the closest thing I have to a mini-me. She loves to make big plans and boss all of her siblings around. (I never said that being my mini me was a good thing…) Violet is our quiet, shy girl. She also happens to have autism spectrum disorder. Sophia is 7 and oh my god what a firecracker! Expect to see her on a television screen near you in fifteen years. Johnathon is six. He's our whiz kid, our scientist. He's also the reason why at any given time I'm on the phone with a plumber or electrician. Max is four. He's a tiny charmer, which he absolutely gets from Will. Then we have twin tornados Oliver and Ethan. Somedays I want to sell them on Etsy, but at the end of the day I really do love them. And finally, we have 6 month old Hazel. Oh my sweet Hazel. She's a wonderful baby, which is lucky because she spends a lot of time strapped to my chest._

_This blog is a chronicle of the chaos and calamity, as well as a shout through the darkness to the other moms and dads who might feel like they're losing their minds._

"It's time to get up." I groaned. "It's almost five thirty." I let out another groan. "I brought you a cup of coffee." I cracked an eye open to look at Will. He gave me a grin. "There she is." I sluggishly raised up onto my elbow and thrust my hand out. He pressed the mug into it and kissed the side of my head. "Good morning."

I took a sip. "Good morning."

"What are the big plans for today?"

I yawned, slowly sitting up fully. I grabbed my phone and opened the calendar. "The usual. School for the bigs. My mom's taking Oliver and Ethan so I can get some work done. Oh, and Hazel has her pediatrician checkup at two. And then… yeah. Henry has basketball after school. Kaitlyn has cheerleading."

"Alright. I'll be off about two, but I better head that way."

I gave him an extra pitiful look. "Don't leave me."

He chuckled and gave me a kiss. "I'll see you this afternoon."

I glanced up at the clock. "The bus will be here in twenty minutes! If you miss it, you will be walking, I'm not driving anyone!" I pulled the brush through Eva's hair. "Do you want a ponytail or pigtails?"

"Ponytail!"

"Mom did you sign my slip?" Benjamin asked from across the table.

"What slip? You didn't give me anything to sign."

"I have to have a physical for soccer. I also need twenty five dollars in cash."

"Shit," I whispered under my breath. "Why didn't you tell me last night?" He shrugged, slurping milk out of his spoon.

"Will a check work?"

"I don't know."

Henry came in to the dining room, his backpack slung over his shoulder. "Hen, do you have any cash?"

He pulled out his wallet. "I have… twenty bucks."

I finished pulling Eva's ponytail into place. "Can I borrow it and pay you back after school?" He nodded and handed it over. I grabbed my purse from off the kitchen counter and began rooting through it. "Okay… one, two… oh here's a five- OUCH!" Hazel, who was strapped to my chest in her carrier, had wound her sicky little hand into my hair and yanked down hard. I thrust the twenty five at Ben, trying to unwind my hair from Hazel's grasp at the same time.

"You still need to do Vi's hair!" Eva declared.

"I know, honey."

"You can't forget her!"

I took a deep breath. One of the symptoms of Violet being on the autism spectrum was a reliance on others to speak up for her, and her twin sister was more than happy to take on that role. However, we had been trying to encourage Vi to speak up a bit more, without stomping down Eva's protective streak. "I'm not going to forget Violet." I tugged my hair out of Hazels' fist and piled it on top of my head, out of her reach.

I tapped Vi on the shoulder and showed her the brush to let her know I was about to start. She nodded and returned her attention back to her book. I began combing out her long brown hair. "Do you want a ponytail or pigtails?"

"They shouldn't be called ponytails, horses have their hair down," she told me.

"That's a good point." I waited but she didn't say anything else. "Do you want your hair in one," I tapped her gently on the crown, "Or two?" I tapped her on each side.

"Give her two!"

"Eva, let Vi talk. Violet?"

"Two." She repeated my taps.

"Alright." I glanced at the clock again. "Ten minutes!"

I finished pulling Vi's hair into her pigtails and glanced around, counting off in my head. I began to yell upstairs. "Sophia! If you want your hair done-"

"It's already done." I glanced down at Kait.

"She did her hair?"

"No, I did. I braided it."

"Oh thank you!" She rolled her eyes at me and I bit my tongue, not wanting to have a fight with her right before she left for school. "Alright Ben, hand over the slip." I sloppily signed my name on the line then grabbed a washcloth, wiping off Oliver's face where he was strapped into his booster seat.

"Potty!" Ethan suddenly screeched from next to him. I hurriedly unstrapped him and began the dash towards the nearest bathroom.

"I need nine bodies by the front door, dressed with shoes on and backpacks zipped!" I made it to the bathroom and sat him down next to the potty chair. "Alright little man. Let's potty."

Ten minutes after the oldest nine had loaded onto the school bus, my mom swung by to pick up the twins. She helped me out by taking them three days a week so that I could work from home doing public relations work for several different companies. I managed to get quite a bit done before loading Hazel into the car and setting off for the doctor.

Mallory was our family's GP, and had been with us since we had moved to Alexandria nearly fifteen years ago. That seemed like a thousand years ago, when we'd only had Henry with Michael on the way.

"Knock knock!" She stepped into the exam room with a smile. "How are you?"

"We're doing okay!" I gave her a hug.

"This is Miss Hazel's six month check up?"

"It is... Can you believe she's already this big?"

"It seems like just yesterday you were having the twins!"

"Which set?" I asked with a laugh.

She carried on with business, making sure the youngest member of our clan was in good health. When she'd been given the all clear, she gave me another smile.

"Be honest, how are you feeling?"

"I'm tired," I admitted. "But I've been tired for like…twelve years now."

"But you're feeling more run down than normal?"

I shrugged. "About the same?"

She gently took my hand and took my pulse. "Heart rate's a little fast."

"It is?" She pulled out the thermometer and slipped it under my tongue. "I really think I'm fine, Mallory," I mumbled around it.

"Just humor me." After several moments it beeped and she took it out. "You have a slight fever."

I groaned. "Oh god. If I have a virus you're going to have to take me out back and shoot me. I can't take the chance of passing it on to the kids."

She laughed. "I don't think that will be necessary. Have you had your period?"

"No, but it always takes a bit for it to come back. Plus I've been working so hard to lose some of the baby weight." I pulled at the bottom of my top. While I had taken off a good fifteen pounds, I still had another fifteen that I wanted to get rid of.

"JJ…" I glanced up at her and laughed.

"Mallory. Don't you look at me like that." She took Hazel from me and handed me a small jar.

"You know the drill. Down the hall. Fill it up to the line and bring it back so we can run the test."

"You can't be serious."

She caressed Hazel's cheek. "We'll be right here."

I was in a state of shock when I got home. Will was already there, along with Ethan and Oliver who he had picked up along the way. He was surrounded by piles of laundry that he had begun to fold but had abandoned to roll around with the twins.

"Mommy!" They both ran and hugged around my legs.

"Hey, cher. How was the doctor?"

"Mallory said that Hazel's doing great. Completely healthy."

"That's great!" He gave me a kiss and took Hazel from my arms. "Hear that gorgeous? You're absolutely perfect!" He blew a raspberry on her tummy, then began to walk back to the laundry. "And how's Mallory doing?"

"Well, she's probably going to be able buy another new car."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Because she's going to have another patient. Or two."

He stopped in his tracks, before slowly turning back to look at me. "…what are you talking about?"

I dropped my purse and Hazel's diaper bag on the couch and gave a tired sigh. "Yup. She confirmed it at the appointment."

He stepped closer. "You're… you're pregnant?"

Tears rushed my eyes and I nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "Congrats. We've done it again."

"For sure?"

I nodded. He set Hazel down in her play pen and pulled me into his arms. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, sniffing back the tears. "I'll be fine, it's just… thirteen? That's… so many!"

"I think a lot of people would argue twelve is also so many."

"I really thought we were done. I was… I was going to look at maybe going back to work."

"Do… do you want to have thirteen? I mean, if you don't we could always…"

I pulled back slightly to look at him. "I don't know. I mean, I know we can love another one."

"Of course we can. But an eleventh pregnancy at your age-"

"Hey!" I playfully hit him in the arm. "Are you calling me old?"

He grinned. "You have the face of an eighteen year old."

"And apparently the uterus of one as well."

He sighed. "Wow. Thirteen. Thirteen kids. How did that happen?"

I rolled my eyes. "You just can't keep your hands off of me."

He smiled and gave me another kiss. "And who could possibly blame me for that?"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Lots of LaMontagnes**_

_Hi friends. It's me, JJ._

_I have a secret to tell you._

_I'm pregnant._

_Again._

_I KNOW._

_Listen, over the years I've had my fair share of snarky comments about if we understand how to use contraception, and I've always tried to laugh them off because fair enough, 12 kids is a ridiculous number of kids, and also yes we do._

_Except maybe we don't?_

_I've always tried to be very honest on this blog. Henry was an unplanned pregnancy. Michael was also an unplanned pregnancy. Kaitlyn was planned. And then we said, y'know what, let's try once more. We'll probably have a girl and that'll give us a nice square four, with two girls and two boys. And things have just snowballed from there._

_But we were in NO WAY trying to have another baby. _

_And I can hear you scream typing at me from across the internet: How could this possibly happen? You are an educated woman in 21__st__ century America! And you are correct! But since I'm still breastfeeding Hazel, I haven't been able to get back on birth control pills. And after the horrible ordeal that occurred with my IUD after Michael, I've never felt comfortable getting another one inserted. But no biggie, Will and I are adults, we can handle using condoms._

_Insert epic face palm._

_For the record, I feel most of the blame for this pregnancy falls on how great Will's ass looks in his dress uniform. If you might recall, several weeks back we attended a retirement celebration for one of Will's old captains. My mom stayed with the kids for the night, we got to book a hotel room and dress up like real life human beings for night and… accidentally made a baby apparently._

_Anyway. Yeah. Pregnant again. With number 13._

_Don't tell my children. I know they'll find out eventually, but I just need to gather my strength before we get to have that super awesome, super fun conversation._

We were halfway through dinner and I just wanted my children to be quiet. I'd been fighting a splitting headache all day, and their excited chatter was not helping. At the other end of the table, Will had one of the twins on either side of him, trying to get some of their dinner in their stomachs instead of on the floor.

"What if when you died, instead of putting you in the ground they shot you in to outer space!" Johnathon yelled, his fork swinging through the air.

"Hey, let's not talk about dying at the dinner table," I called, wiping Hazel's bottom lip. While she was still breastfeeding most of the time, we were trying to introduce more and more solid foods into her diet.

"Who was the oldest person ever?" Sophia asked.

"I don't know, sweetheart," Will answered.

"I want to be the first person to be a hundred and five!" Eva yelled.

"Someone's already been a hundred and five," Henry replied, spooning more rice onto his plate.

"Well then I'll be a hundred and six!"

"Someone's been a hundred and six."

"Then I'll be a hundred and seven! I'll be a hundred and seven, and Vi will be a hundred and seven minus one day so she dies first."

"Everyone stop it! Stop talking about death!" I yelled. Will flashed me a covert thumbs up from the other end of the table, asking if I was okay. I nodded, letting out a deep breath. "Max, can you eat some more of your carrots please?"

He shook his head, his mouth puckered in a frown. "I want nuggets!"

"No, we're not having chicken nuggets. Have three more bites."

"No!" Suddenly his food was upended on the floor.

"Max! No sir!" He screwed up his face and let out an ear-piercing wail. A few chairs down, Violet clapped her hands over her ears, quickly becoming frazzled by his screams. Next to Will, Oliver let out a mad cackle and swiped his own plate off the table.

I buried my head in my hands for a moment, feeling very overwhelmed. "Stop it, everyone stop it! What has gotten into you all today?"

"What's the matter Mom, feeling outnumbered?" Michael cracked from the middle of the table.

"That's enough, Mike, leave her be," Will replied quietly.

"Can everyone please just eat their dinner? We still need to start baths. And stop yelling!" I turned my attention back to Max. "There's no need to be so loud!"

"We can't help it!" Sophia pushed up onto her knees, throwing her arms wide. "We're just naturally LOUD!"

"Yeah, if you wanted a quiet dinner you should have had less kids," quipped Kait.

"Well I'll keep that in mind next time I decide to have thirteen of you," I deadpanned back.

"Except you only have twelve."

I looked at Henry. "What?"

"There's twelve of us. You said thirteen." I opened my mouth to reply but didn't know what to say. "Oh shit."

"Henry said a swear!" Jonathon screeched.

"Are you serious? You can't be… Seriously?!"

"That's enough, Henry." Will gave him a stern look.

"What? What's going on?" Ben asked.

"She's pregnant! She's having another stupid baby!" Henry spit. The table descended into chaos as he jumped from his chair and stomped upstairs. Half of the kids, mostly the younger ones, were excited, clapping their hands and squealing. The others, most notably Kaitlyn, were quick to pull faces and roll their eyes. I stood up and followed Henry upstairs.

I knocked on the door to the room he shared with Michael. "Henry?"

"Go away!" I steeled myself and pushed the door open anyways. He was sitting at the desk, his shoulders hunched. I sat on the end of his bed and looked at him.

"We're going to talk about this."

"What is there to talk about? You guys are having another baby, it's gonna be one more mouth to feed, one more person to buy clothing and shoes for, another person to cram into the van."

"Why are you so upset about this?"

He whipped around to face me. "I'm going to college in a few years! Have you thought about that? How are we going to afford for me to go to school when you and Dad just keep popping kids out?"

"Henry, we will help you pay for college. There are so many options for you-"

"Like what? Community college?"

"Maybe. Or a smaller public university. True, we can't afford to send you to Harvard, but you're going to get to go to college."

He gave a big huffy sigh. "Just… why? Why in God's name would you guys have another kid?"

It was my turn to sigh. "I… We weren't exactly trying. These things can happen despite everyone's best efforts for them not to."

"Well shouldn't your efforts be a little better by now?"

I gave him a small smile. "It's just never been our strong suit. After all, that's how we got you. And Michael. And Sophia. And-"

"I get it."

I patted the bed next to me. "Come here." He did as I asked. "I know this is a bit of a shock. Trust me, we felt the same way when we found out. But… this baby will be just as loved and cherished as the twelve we already have. But it won't take away any of the love we have for you."

He pulled a face. "I know that…"

"Are you sure?" I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You're my first born. You made me a mom. Nothing could possibly make me love you any less. Any of you."

"I'm sorry I threw a fit. I should have reacted better."

"It's okay. That's not how I meant to tell you guys, I meant to break the news gently."

We sat in silence for a few moments. "Where's the new baby going to sleep?"

"Oh god. I don't know, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." I pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you gonna come down and finish your dinner?"

"I'm okay. I'm probably going to start on my homework."

"Okay." I gave him one last kiss and left the room, pulling the door shut behind me. I stood there for a moment, drinking in all the ways my life had changed since I found out I was pregnant with Henry all those years ago. My little baby had grown up and was getting closer to being a man every day.

The door to the little boys' room flew open and Ethan came barreling out, completely naked. I grabbed him as he ran passed. "What are you doing, silly boy? Where are your clothes?"

Will came out of their room, an equally naked Oliver in his arms. "Everything okay?"

I nodded. "It was just a shock. He'll come around." I passed Ethan to him then gave him a kiss. "You good?"

"I'm great." He looked down at the twins. "Alright monkey men! Time for a bath!" I smiled as I watched him carry them down the hall, then turned my attention to the to do list for the night.

"Max! Jonathon! It's time for a bath, meet me downstairs!"

_**Lots of LaMontagnes**_

_Funny moment of the day:_

'_Jonathon: Mommy we need more condoms_

_Me: What?_

_Jonathon: Condoms!_

_Me: …..why do you need them?_

_Jonathon: For hot dogs!  
Me: …Condiments?! Like ketchup and mustard?_

_Jonathon: Yeah!'_

_Whew. I mean, my six year old is definitely watching too much Food Network, but it's fine. Also… he's not wrong on the condom thing. _


	3. Chapter 3

_**(Here's Chapter 3! Just wanted to check in with an author's note. The ages of the kids are as stated in the first chapter's blog post. I know Henry and Michael are seven years apart in the series, but I needed them closer together so that JJ wouldn't be having babies at like 60 lol. There will be language in this fic. I'll try to remember to post an AN if the F word will be included in a chapter, but everything else is pretty much to be expected. I hope you all like this story, I have some exciting stuff planned!)**_

_**(Oh, also there's discussion about puberty and masturbation in this chapter.)**_

_**Lots of LaMontagnes**_

_Well the whole 'don't tell any of the kids yet' plan lasted exactly four days. I had been working so hard to come to terms with the fact we were having thirteen, I accidentally let it slip at the dinner table. It was pandemonium. Surprisingly, Henry took it the hardest. I had just assumed that when you're the oldest of twelve, one more sibling wouldn't phase you. I was wrong._

_We talked it out and he's doing better. But I'm going to definitely be checking in with him a bit more. I forget that just because he's my oldest and nearing graduation, doesn't mean he doesn't need his Momma._

_I'm not having a ton of morning sickness, which I am overjoyed about. I think that means it's a girl, but I guess we'll just have to see!_

"Okay, everyone out!" Will had the weekend off, so we'd decided to capitalize on that by taking a family day. Our first stop was unfortunately the shoe store.

I hated shoe shopping. For the most part, clothes could be passed from kid to kid. I'd become an old pro at getting even the most stubborn of stains out of their tee shirts and pants. And once we had thrown away the idea that boys and girls needed different clothing, it had saved us an incredible amount of money. But shoes wore down so quickly. As much as I would try to stretch out their wear time, it seemed like someone always had a pair that was in tatters. Thus, the shoe store.

I took Hazel out of her car seat and Michael gave me a hand in getting her strapped into her carrier. Will was already chasing Ethan, Oliver, and Max across the parking lot, calling for them to please wait. I did a quick head count as we walked towards the store, making sure someone hadn't accidentally been left in the van. I wondered briefly if other moms had that worry.

When we made it inside, I saw the looks of dread cross the sales clerks faces. I knew they couldn't help it anymore than I could help the fact that we needed at least a dozen pairs of shoes, but I still felt the little sting of shame blossom in my stomach.

"Good morning!" I called.

The older one stepped forward. "Hey, can we help you find anything today?"

I gave him a smile. "We're going to need quite a few sizes pulled, but I think I'll need to look around first."

"Okay, well my name is Elijah, just let me know."

"Thank you." I turned my attention back to my brood. "Okay, you guys know the deal! Inside voices, you can look but if you start pulling things off the shelves then you're going to have to sit on the bench and I get to pick out your shoes." I snagged Ethan as he ran by. "C'mon little man, let's find you some tennis shoes."

Several hours went by, and the stack of shoes behind the counter slowly grew higher and higher. As I went to check Henry's new basketball shoes off the list, I noticed I still didn't have a pair for Max.

"Max? Kait, have you seen Max?" She shook her head and blew a bubble with her gum. I took a deep breath as I began checking each aisle. He had to be here somewhere.

Finally, back by the women's high heels I found him sitting on a woman's lap, talking animatedly.

"Max!"

He looked up at me and gave me a wide smile. "Momma I made a friend!"

"I see that." I turned my attention to her. "I'm so sorry, I hope he hasn't been bothering you."

"Oh no, he's a sweetheart!" She sat him down and he ran over, wrapping his arms around my leg.

"That's our Max," I smiled.

"And who's this little cutie pie?" She walked over and stroked a finger along the back of Hazel's hand.

"This is Hazel. Can you say hi?" I turned so that she could see the baby better.

"What beautiful babies!"

"Thank you, we're pretty lucky."

She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "And so much better behaved than most of the other kids in this store. Of course you can't blame the kids, not when there's that many. I'm sure they're the work of some high school dropouts, probably popping out more and more kids so they can play the food stamps system."

My jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"Oh you know how it is. These white trash families, having babies like rabbits, living off government handouts, being supported by the rest of us who work hard and have the common sense to use birth control." She rolled her eyes heavily.

I swallowed hard against the angry words anxiously making their way to the tip of my tongue. "We need to go." I grabbed Max's hand.

"Mommy, Jonathon took my hair bow and he won't give it back!" Sophia was standing at the end of aisle, her hands on her hips.

"Okay, I'm coming." I turned on the woman and made my way back to where the bulk of our family was gathered. I knew of course that people had unfair preconceptions about families with a lot of children, but it wasn't every day that I got to hear someone talk so honestly about what they thought of us.

As I retrieved Sophia's hair bow from her brother and returned it, I tried to push the woman's comments from my mind. She didn't know us. She didn't know what he had been through. Our family was our business, not hers.

"What are we missing, Jayje?" Will asked.

"Did Eva get new flats?"

"I did! They're bright purple, and I'm going to wear them to school on Monday!" she gushed.

"Alright. Let me get Max some sneakers and we'll be done." I took a deep breath and led him back to the boys' shoes. It wouldn't do to dwell on the opinions of others. I told my kids as much all the time, but it was decidedly harder to convince myself.

* * *

We had a dinner reservation at a pizza restaurant near the house. I knew better than to just show up with all of our kids and expect a restaurant to be able to accommodate us. They needed the time to plan accordingly.

We were escorted to a long table towards the back of the restaurant, already set up with booster seats and a high chair, with plenty of crayons to go around.

"This is perfect, thank you so much!" I told the hostess.

"Sure thing! Molly will be your server, she'll be back in just a second."

We got everyone settled and strapped in. A few minutes later Molly, a cute girl who was probably in her last year of high school, came back. "Alright, what can I get everyone to drink?"

I gave her the drink orders for all of the littles and she went around getting everyone else's. Across the table, I saw Ben tap on Will's shoulder. "Dad, can I have a sprite?"

"Sure buddy. Just tell her."

"No, can you?"

"What? No, Oliver!" He pushed the pitcher of water out of the toddler's reach.

"Can you order it for me?"

"Ben, you're more than old enough to order for yourself."

"I know, but…" His face was distressed, but he didn't say anything else. Just then, Molly put a hand on his shoulder.

"What can I get you to drink?" He turned to look at her, and she gave him a smile

"I… um, I want…" He swallowed thickly, his eyes darting back to the table. "I, um just… water," he finally mumbled.

"Alright!" She moved on to take Will's order.

"I thought you waned Sprite?" I asked.

He shook his head, his eyes not leaving the tablecloth. "No."

I didn't give the interaction much thought until she came back several minutes later with our drinks. Violet refused to drink any of her soda due to it having ice. "I'm so sorry, I should have told you no ice for her, can we possibly get another one?" I asked.

"Of course!" She leaned between Ben and Kaitlyn to grab Vi's cup and his eyes seemed drawn to her butt without his own permission. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Somebody has it hot for the waitress…" Michael teased after she had retreated to grab the new soda.

Ben's face paled. "What? No!"

Will grinned. "Is that so?"

"No!"

"You have good taste, Ben, she's very pretty." Will nudged him with his elbow and Ben's shoulders crept towards his ears, obviously very embarrassed.

"Will." He glanced up at me and I gave him a pointed look. "Leave him alone," I mouthed.

"Aw we're just teasing you, Ben. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." He tried to put his arm around his shoulders but Ben shrugged away.

"I have to go to the bathroom." We both watched him make his way to the restrooms.

Michael elbowed Henry. "He probably needs to go-"

"That's enough, Michael," Will warned.

"Need to go what?" asked Sophia.

"To the bathroom," I answered firmly. "Now what kinds of pizza do we want?"

* * *

"So I guess Benjamin has officially discovered girls." I squeezed toothpaste onto my toothbrush.

"It would seem so."

"Feels kinda early, doesn't it?"

Will shrugged. "Not necessarily. I think Henry was on the late bloomer side of things. I think Michael was just really good at hiding it."

"I don't want them to tease him too much. He's… I don't know, more shy than Henry and Michael. I'm afraid they're going to make it a thing and then he's going to feel like he can't talk to anyone. That's one of the best parts about having older siblings, they're someone you can talk to when it's weird to talk to your parents. I remember going to Ros for all kinds of things before she-" I broke off. It had been so many years, and for the most part I felt as if I had finally come to peace with what had happened. But it was never something I loved talking about. "I don't want them to make it a super big deal," I reiterated.

Will came up behind me, rubbing my shoulders as I began brushing my teeth. "I'll talk to them, but I think it's all in good fun. When it comes down to it, you know any of our kids would throw down for their siblings."

I nodded, spitting in the sink. "I know."

He concentrated on a knot at the base of my neck. "This probably means we'll need to rethink room assignments, though."

"Why?"

"If Ben's discovering girls then he's probably about to discover… other things that go along with that."

I wrinkled my nose. "He's eleven!"

He shrugged and smiled at me through the mirror. "I know. But it's probably coming."

"Really? I didn't start masturbating till I was like… I don't know. Sixteen?"

"Yes, but you're a girl. It's very different for boys."

I turned to face him. "When did you start?"

He thought about it. "Twelve? Maybe thirteen?"

"That's crazy."

"It's normal, I think." He wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling me closer. "The first times were not great. It takes a while to get the hang of it."

I laughed. "You're preaching to the choir. It's even harder for girls."

"Is that so?" I nodded. "But you got pretty good at it?"

I laughed. "Well if I had waited around for a boy to get me off I wouldn't have had an orgasm until college."

He pulled me even closer and began to sneak little kisses along my jaw. "You wanna show me?"

"Show you what?" I teased.

"Show me what you learned." He hit the spot just behind my ear that always made me shiver.

"Ah… I'm pretty out of practice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I ended up finding someone who takes care of that for me." I cupped his jaw and pulled him in for a kiss.

"You outsourced? Smart," he mumbled against my lips, making me laugh.

"I guess you could call it that."

He scooped me into his arms bridal style, making me squeal. "What are you doing?"

He gave me another kiss and carried me into our bedroom. "I want to make sure you remember the basics."


End file.
